I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
