I wish I could punch you in the face.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
