her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
