This girl is more easily done than said...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
