do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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