i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
