you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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