I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
