Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
