i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
