Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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