I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
