It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize