Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
how drunk are you?
Several
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize