scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
