It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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