i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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