You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize