distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She's the barista slut.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
