i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
