The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
