Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
