how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
