Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
