and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Randomize
