is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize