Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
