Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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