I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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