The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
