i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
