We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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