I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
