Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
