I will die if light touches me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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