I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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