We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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