I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
