My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
