I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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