Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
