he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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