Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
