What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
