she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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