the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
