Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
