Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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