just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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