Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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