id be glad to
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
