Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize