we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
