Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
