I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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