but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
