Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
We smell like vodka and hangover
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