Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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