he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
