Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
